Monday, December 12th, 2016

I think it’s safe to say I have recovered from surgery – at least mentally. My brain this morning was right back into thinking about a zillion things…

And being hopeful! – I usually am very positive about life in general, but these past few days have been hardI think it has been the anesthesia that screwed up my brain chemistry. But I’m getting back on track! The amino acids have certainly helped.

I drank 5 out of the last 7 days. I need to get back on the wagon there. I’ll pick 3 days this week and stick to it. I’m thinking tonight, because it’s my day off, and Friday since we’re playing out at Trattoria D’Amico and we get such a great discount on great wine, and then Sunday  because we are going to a wine party after masses. I will stick to these days. That means that for Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday, I will look forward to chilling out with some tea at home. That is how I will relax. I think it’s getting easier to choose that when I clean out muy schedule and don’t overload myself.  Also, because the amino acids have helped me to be more balanced and relaxed.

I need to get to bed earlier and wake up earlier. It’s hard to do when I have a gig that goes til 1a like I did on Saturday night, but I don’t do those that much anymore, which is good for me and my health!

But if I could get to bed – like actually be in bed – by midnight every night, I could get out of the door by 9:30a most days and I would get substantially more done, I think.

And that seems to be my deepest addiction – workaholism.  It’s all about being productive. Why can’t I just be still? Be still and know that He is God…

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I went “live” on facebook for the first time and I wasn’t perfected. I was raw and real and just me.  And as I looked at myself in the replay, I saw all my painful imperfections and I DIDN’T CARE. For the FIRST TIME in my life, I just accepted myself.  That is SUCH a great feeling.

And you, dear reader, might think that I should care.  Well, if you do, I’m sorry for you. Because you’re still believing the lie that we are supposed to be perfect.  Well, I’ve got news for you…

PERFECTION DOESN’T EXIST

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