20 Sep Tuesday, September 20th, 2016

I need to start praying more ofter an better. I was just reading the book of Job and there’s a lot of hard stuff to process in there. I can’t imagine, first off, how horrible it must have been for Job to suffer so much loss. Another thing that is confusing is how Satan came before the Lord and actually has a conversation with the Lord. What is going on there? I thought Satan was the enemy yet he is in heaven with the Lord and conversing with the Almighty? That is strange indeed. But of course I shouldn’t even bother thinking about it because as the Psalm 131 states “I ill not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.”

I really like to have understanding. But I guess humans weren’t made intelligent enough to comprehend why in the world Satan is able to be present before God.

I still feel passionate about my purpose. I know that I have a great work to do – unless I am misinterpreting my call, that is. I with I could understand more. Maybe I would be more successful? Maybe I would just be more arrogant. I can’t stand arrogance.

But I do it. I look down on others when I am no one. I don’t have a grain of sand’s worth of intelligence compared to the Lord.

So why do I fall into arrogance? Why do I look down on others under the guise of “analysis and understanding”? I know full well that I am no more important than anyone else and no one else is more important than me in the eyes of the Lord.

Do I need to learn humility every single day?

I will pray about this in silence. I like the idea of spending 10 minutes a day in silent prayer – especially in a chapel. I already found a chapel near my house that I can go to – Holy Spirit – and of course, at QoP I can use the chapel there.

It just occurred to me right this moment that I find kneeling distracting. I think I will pray better just sitting down in the church rather than kneeling. But that’s just a thought… I will go today and see. Hopefully there aren’t many people there. I want to have privacy.

Actually, I have keys to the church at QoP so I can have privacy any time I want!

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