27 Aug Dealing with Jealousy and Envy
Sometimes, when I hear other musicians who sound really amazing, I get discouraged, especially when I hear them performing in a way that I have not developed. I start to wonder if I really don’t “have what it takes” or if I think that I’m better than I am. I start to really doubt my own talents.
A recent instance discouraged me so much I cried – hard – so bad that my eye makeup ran all over the place and I had to redo it. :/
How do we deal with this?
I’ve tried not to compare myself to others too much, but in general, whenever I feel jealous or envious, the person who invoked these feelings has had a very different life from me. Usually, it’s someone who has studied music in a college, or at least twice as long as I have, while I spent that time on other things, like ENGINEERING.
I also try to remember that it doesn’t matter what other people can do. What matters is what I can do and whether I’m living up to my full potential.
After crying, and even during, I actually had to remind myself of my strengths and gifts. Also, why should I care so much if someone if better than me at whatever? Rather, I should strive to better myself and be the best I can be with the gifts I have been given. Besides, unless you are the best in the entire world at whatever it is that you do, there’s ALWAYS going to be someone out there who is better than you. But what difference does it make?
Besides, what the hell else am I gonna do?? I sure as HELL ain’t going back to engineering…
This leads me to one of my absolute FAVORITE quotes, that I also shared in a previous post. It has been (disputably) attributed to Henry Van Dyke:
“Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.”
So who cares if you are the best writer? WRITE.
Who cares if you are the best singer? SING.
What difference does it make if you are the best piano/guitar/sax/etc player? PLAY.
Who cares if you are the best whatever?? BE WHATEVER YOU ARE MEANT TO BE.